I've wanted to write about this for awhile, but I was having a hard time articulating myself. I'm a little new to the academic world of feminism, and I knew that no matter what I said or how I said it that I was going to come off sounding like an idiot. Granted, I largely I deserve that. I have been an idiot in many ways, and the reason I'm writing this is because I'm making an attempt to correct that. Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned.
I was raised a de facto feminist. My parents, one Lutheran, one agnostic, brought me up to believe that all people of all genders, races, religions, and sexualities could do and be anything they wanted to be. I was taught to be kind to all people and to judge them only by how they treated others. This was further ingrained in me by the ELCA Lutheran church that I chose (yes, chose, with absolutely no familial pressure) to start attending when I was nine-years-old, a church which ordains women and is currently on the cutting edge of LGBTQ rights within contemporary American religion. Consequently, as a young adult I never felt I had the need to study feminism or women's issues because, well, they weren't issues to me (Due to lack of education, I never saw the connection between my own gender issues and feminist issues). Somebody else's sex and gender were irrelevant to me (I mean, unless I wanted to date them. But that's just a matter of compatibility). Furthermore, almost none of my girl friends ever brought the issue up to me when I was younger. Presumably this was because I seldom violated any feminist principles (social anxiety and low self-esteem made it pretty hard for me to be much of a pig like a lot of teenage boys), but I know it was also because most of my friends of all genders had been raised to accept many sexist social standards and were themselves as complacent as I was about certain issues facing our society. In fact, many of them inadvertently reinforced bad dynamics to me. So I was content to walk around with my blinders on. For that matter, I didn't even know I had blinders on.
I was so oblivious to the real issues, that there were times when I went completely in the wrong direction, the men's rights activism direction. So frustrated by the confusing things I began to hear from feminists versus what most of the women around me actually did and said, it began to make me very angry and bitter (and I'm already a pretty angry and bitter person to start with). I was told by some to be sensitive and understanding, which I was because that's who I am. Yet somehow that seemed to backfire and make me less attractive. I was told by others to be aggressive and assertive. Which is it? I thought. Aggressive or sensitive? Surely one can be both depending on the situation, but first impressions are what counts, so how am I supposed to come off? I was being told that being myself was a bad idea, but I didn't want to be anyone else either. What was a gloomy teenage boy to do? I had no direction from older men and I was being bombarded with mixed messages from women. The things I know now came only through experience, a lot of it unpleasant. But at the time I was naive, terribly distraught, lonely, and consequently my anger was often misplaced. Of course, it's worth noting that some women I encountered were simply just horrible people, but in general the confusion I was experiencing originated in a lack of definition and clarity, which hadn't been provided to me by model figures in my life nor by any institution of education into which I was placed. But, thank God, that was not to last. A few things started to grind on my conscience after awhile.
Anyone who pays attention to music today knows of the problems of
misogyny prominent among male artists. "Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll," while a
lifestyle readily accepted by many men and women alike, is primarily
centered around the figure of the male rock star, the one who lives for
indulgence, holds few to no ethical standards, fucks groupies
indiscriminately, and looks out for numero uno. Granted, there is
nothing wrong with casual sex, indulgence, and self-preservation (to a
certain degree we're all narcissists, especially in America). But it's
not the the "what" so much as the "how" which is wrong with this
scenario. It is the lack of responsibility inherent to many who embrace
that hedonistic lifestyle. i.e. Having casual
sex with someone is fantastic, providing that you know the other person
is 100% on the same page as you, rather than just jumping into the sack
and running the second you get your rocks off to avoid fallout due to
your lack of communication and disclosure of intent. This rockstar image
is exemplified with even less subtlety in hip-hop, as anyone who
watched MTV in the 90s and early 00s can tell you (But, who are we
kidding, it's still predominately like that in contemporary pop
culture). One place, however, where a lot of people don't seem to
recognize it, because it is far more subtle, is in the goth music
scene.
In order to promote by music, I have to research as many popular blogs
and internet databases for goth and industrial music as I can. While
doing so I came across a few articles addressing the issue of misogyny
in goth culture and music. I had always taken the goth scene for being
an extremely open-minded place that was safe for men and women of any
persuasion. When I was younger I had unfairly stereotyped the scene as
being far more virtuous than it actually is (something I think we all do when we first embrace a lifestyle or worldview). My line of thinking was that, hey, if a boy
was allowed to wear lipstick, it's probably a pretty open-minded
community. But sure enough, run anything under a microscope and the
problems reveal themselves. Eventually I began to see a few things
that I had foolishly dismissed to be problems of that phony, so-called
"normal" society I had rejected, things which couldn't possibly be part of my precious goth subculture.
Despite my ready acknowledgment of the hypocritical elitism of the goth
scene and the judgmental cliques rampant throughout it, I yet had hopes
of it transcending at least some social norms that were problematic
throughout mainstream society. (This was because I used to believe that
there was a distinction between society's "normals" and "others." There
isn't. They're both just two sides of the same equation. You can carry
them over to any side of the equal sign you want, but they still depend on
one another. More importantly, the basic human behavior underlying the motivations of both social rebels and mainstream culture is inherently the same).
The goth scene, it turns out, was not exempt from the ubiquitous misogyny of our culture. In fact, that sexism is still thoroughly ingrained in the people who make up the goth scene was laid out poignantly for me by two women who I spent a good deal of time with in my mid-twenties. They were both very vocal feminists, but neither had any problems telling me to "man up" or "grow a pair" and other similar expressions when I was feeling down. Now, I admit that I can be very whiny at times, it sort of comes with regular depression and anxiety. But to equate expressions of emotional weakness and vulnerability with femininity is indicative of the gender role stereotypes with which these two "feminists" had allowed themselves to become indoctrinated. See, they weren't actually feminists. They were fiercely independent women who despised weakness in any form in other human beings, but especially in men. They were content to degrade and abuse emotionally weak men, like me, by using feminine terms derisively, just like all the bros I used to run into in high school and later in bars when I was a drinker. These two women represented feminism about as well as the Spanish Inquisition represented Christianity. I'd seen sexism in the goth scene being embodied, rather ironically, predominantly by women. But it wasn't until I sought to understand the issue more deeply that I saw the overarching sexism that is yet rampant throughout a good deal of goth music, and particularly in industrial music.
The problem with sexism in the goth scene is that it's more hidden. Goth, at its purest, is a celebration of individual self-expression, and on the surface it embraces all forms of gender identity and sexuality. Anyone is free to be as masculine, feminine, or androgynous as they please. Some scholars have argued that goth's embrace and deification of the feminine form and particularly of the "death chic" (a Victorian fetishization of pale, emaciated women) has actually led to another deeper layer of misogyny in which men are more free to express themselves and, for lack of a better term, usurp femininity, whereas women are not as free to embrace androgyny and masculinity (see "Dark Admissions: Gothic Subculture and the of Misogyny and Resistance" by Joshua Gunn), but that's not what I've experienced in the goth scene in Los Angeles. I give the L.A. goth scene credit for actually playing host to a vast array of people of all sexualities. It could be different elsewhere, so I won't claim any universals based on my experience.
Their prejudices of goths
naturally come in different forms than other subcultures, that is
what makes all subcultures distinct from one another, but when sexism
prevails in a society as a whole, it's hard to dispel it even in the
most remote corners, including those subcultures which, on the surface,
appear to seek to rid themselves of it. And in those very dark corners,
sometimes the prejudices don't actually die but merely go through a shift.
Goth is as diverse as any other subculture. There are myriad subcategories of what falls under the umbrella term "goth."Although many goths of course defy simple categorization, there are many
easily recognized subdivisions within the greater whole. There are of course your classic romantic goths. They make up the majority of what people outside the culture often think of as the stereotypical goth. There are cyber-goths, hippy-goths, vampires, bubble-goths, gothabillies, death rockers, metalhead goths, and rivet-heads. And that's just to name a few. Rivet-heads, or industrial goths, are a sub-subculture wherein you don't have to look far for sexism to peak its ugly head.
Rivet-heads often do not consider themselves "goth" per se, but they frequently occupy the same spaces, clubs, and clothing stores as everyone else across the scene (perhaps with a little more military surplus thrown in. Rivet-heads often have a dystopian, futuristic, and military-influenced form of dress). It is a highly masculinized subgroup. You'll find mostly man's men therein - you know, a lot of testosterone - but the women are quite diverse, from very masculine, to androgynous, to feminine. However, this dynamic of an overall masculine scene lends itself well to the same abuses of women and their bodies that rock and hip-hop traditionally have blasted across the media waves. Naturally there are many exceptions to this rule, but it is not an unfair generalization I'm making here. It would be wrong of me to cast everyone in a group of people as sexist, because many of them are not. But that doesn't change the fact that industrial music tends to take on a very aggressive form of masculinity in both aesthetic and message.
My music is hardly typical industrial, and I'm sure there are a million rivet-heads who would pop up to deny me the label in the first place. But my music is very heavily influenced by industrial and EBM, and I would wager that I'm likely to find a good deal of new listeners among that crowd. However, in doing so I want to make sure that I am not lumped in with a cartoonishly masculinized aesthetic. It is important to me that I am in no way associated with music or culture that would appear sexist.
My beef with sexism is not just a position based on principle, although any reservations I may have once had (okay, okay, the reservations I did have) about being a very vocal proponent of feminism were dispelled by the #YesAllWomen movement. My beef with sexism is personal. The Isla Vista shootings and the dialogue that sprung forth since had a significant impact on me. Voices I'd not previously heard talk about feminism were beginning to speak up, and so I listened more intently than ever before. In particular, a writer named Arden Leigh (whose work can be found here: ardenleigh.typepad.com/ - although her main input on #YesAllWomen came through her Twitter and Facebook pages) and an article written by Zaron Burnett III (found here: https://medium.com/human-parts/a-gentlemens-guide-to-rape-culture-7fc86c50dc4c) forced me right out of the complacency I'd found myself in for most of my adult life. I couldn't ignore it anymore.
The reason it is so very personal to me is that strictly enforced gender roles have fucked me over my whole life. I have been bashed by both men and women for not being a "real" man. While I acknowledge that most people's gender aligns with their biological sex (what we call "cis" people, a category that statistically holds the majority) there are myriad exceptions to the rule, and nobody should be punished when they have the audacity to step outside of a gender normative dynamic. Of course, the things we define as "masculine" and "feminine" are themselves problematic and fairly subjective. It's very difficult, anthropologically speaking, to find out just what is truly universally "male" and "female" beyond which sires children and which creates and births them. Sure, there are generally some basic natural differences between those who have a penis and those who have a vagina, but the body, the lymphatic system, and the brain of every human is wired differently, and we are a terribly complex creature with a terribly complex brain that we ourselves barely understand. So to claim some kind of universality to gender norms, while often the de facto case for a majority of the population, does not justify the kind of constriction that forces people into horribly tight roles that they do not identify with. Contemporary Western society has made it obvious just how completely superfluous gender roles can be. Of course I'm preaching to the converted here - I hardly expect the most sexist elements of the industrial crowd or the patriarchs of fundamentalist American Christendom to be affected by what I'm saying. Nevertheless, I know there are other men like me who have been afraid to be themselves, and there are women who would probably be glad to hear that some males out there are actually on their side on this issue. (Emma Watson, at least, seems to think so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-iFl4qhBsE ).
Let's face it lads, women can quite literally do everything men can do, except produce sperm. (Technically speaking, that's all they need from us. They could run this whole planet without our help). And the most ironic thing about shoving women into "their place" is that it inevitably creates a very clear definition of what a "man's place" is. To rob one sex of freedom, is to rob both. I'm not saying anything new here. And it's certainly no shock to those who embrace the most archaic ways of thinking. In fact this idea of a rule-bound gender normative society is whole-heartedly embraced by the ultra-conservative (Read the Bible sometime. While I will be the first to point out that moderate and liberal religious organizations, especially Jewish and mainline Protestant, have no qualms with reinterpreting ancient ethical codes for a changing world, many others have chosen to live those codes by the letter… except of course where it inconveniences them. But keeping women in their place is most convenient for so very many of them, and they have no qualms about designating a "man's place" for themselves or their sons either).
You may be wondering by now if I'll ever get to the point and just why the hell I'm writing about this in conjunction with The Lazarus Gene. Two reasons. One, because it's the fucking right thing to do. And two, my album Break The Cage addresses many issues, and chief among them is the horror of pyschological and social slavery. The album explores the prisons into which some of us are born, some of us are later thrust, and some of us create within ourselves. These prisons, these cages, can be physical, psychological, religious, economic, and they can be based on sex, gender, race, religion, you name it. But I'll dig more into those issues in a future post. Furthermore, when I was recording the album I ran into a snag. Break The Cage has a song on it called "Your Werewolf." It is a song about pure, unfettered sexual aggression. It is a positive song. In fact, it's the only truly positive song on the album. I'd even call it joyful. It's a celebration of sex without reservation. But what I realized when I was nearly ready to send off the album to be mastered was that I hadn't been careful enough with the lyrics. The original lyrics were extremely aggressive, because they were pure and honest. I didn't hold back at all. Hey, when the mood strikes, I enjoy being aggressive as all hell. And I'm acquainted with plenty of women, most of them strong, independent, and as feminist as can be, who enjoy succumbing to dominance in the heat of passion. However, the rhetoric involved in such a sexual dynamic can be problematic outside the bedroom. It can sound degrading, hurtful, and even frightening in the wrong context. When you're engaged in a sexual act with a willing partner, you know the limits, you know the person, and in that safe space we're all free to enjoy what we will. It's a matter of disclosure and, of utmost importance, consent. But without the proper context, it's an entirely different story.
BDSM educator Mallena Williams said, “If I do a scene in which I am replicating some outrageous violence, or some mysoginist attitude….I and my partner(s) have come to an understanding about what that means. It may not be possible for a band portraying an image to negotiate with their audience in the same way” (quoted in this article by Nadya Lev about misogyny in industrial music here: http://coilhouse.net/2012/11/on-misogyny-in-industrial-music/). I realized that my lyrics for "Your Werewolf" could be triggering to someone who'd been a victim of sexual violence or unwelcome sexual aggression. So I asked one of my closest friends to read over the lyrics and tell me which areas she thought were the most problematic. I asked her because I know that she's the kind of woman who enjoys submission and humiliation in an intimate scenario, but she also knows that outside of that context, we have to tread more carefully. God knows my album could already be triggering to people who suffer the same issues I do, depression, anxiety, self-loathing, and that is still a concern of mine. But to face my issues and talk honestly about them was essential for this album because it's predominantly autobiographical. To avoid confronting certain things would've robbed me of my own catharsis in writing the album. What I did not want, on the other hand, was for a song about passion to trigger something negative in any of my potential listeners. (Okay, well if it triggered disgust from an uptight prude, I would have no problem with that). So I re-wrote the lyrics, and now I can rest assured that if they offend, they're offending for reasons I'm 100% fine with.
Moving forward I'm well aware that these issues will come up again, and I hope only that I deal with them properly and better than I have in the past. I do not want my music lumped in with anyone portraying a negative image of any select group of people. Of course, I'm one of the most misanthropic people you'll ever meet, and I constantly portray the human race as a bunch of stupid naked apes with guns, a positive blight on the Earth - but when I talk like that I'm talking about all of us, not just women, or men, or anyone of any race, nor of any particular belief system. I have said, and will say, terrible things about my species. But those cynical things I say are not unfounded, nor unfair. My prejudices are strong, but they're not stupid. Misogyny, on the other hand, is just plain stupid.
- DBH
